There has been quite a trend in law enforcement lately to crack down on drunk
drivers, and no doubt that's a good thing. But I think that a lot of it has
to do with the fact that they have a machine that supposedly measures drunkenness
and gives out nice scientific .10% and .15% readings that courts of law like
to see so they can pass judgement on us. The real reason we're cracking down
on drunk people is supposed to be safety, right? Our law enforcement agencies
have a habit of telling us they are doing something for our safety when really
there is another reason for it. Like speeding tickets. I heard that in Japan
they really wanted to stop people from speeding, so they just slapped a mandatory
$500 dollar fine and that was it. So what do we do? We design the penalties
to be just enough that we can claim we want to make the roads safer, when actually
it's a way for the state to make some serious money. They rake in millions,
and the cops can look busy and not have to be doing more dangerous and less
visible cop activities like catching criminals. And there is always a new machine
somebody can sell to every municipality in the nation and make lots of money.
This drunk driving thing is just a bugaboo, and what they should be after is
unsafe drivers. I maintain that with legally drunk blood alcohol levels some
people can still drive better than a lot of idiots who have never touched a
drop. I feel there are lots of other kinds of unsafe drivers that also should
be systematically removed from the road or fined large amounts of money. Shouldn't
we also crack down on over-emotional drivers, stupid drivers, senile drivers,
drivers who didn't wear their contacts, and, especially, tired drivers? All
they need is a machine that you can test people with to tell if they are exhausted.
DWE, Driving While Exhausted... I wonder just how many accident deaths were
caused by people falling asleep at the wheel. There's no way to test a corpse
in an autopsy and determine if the deceased was yawning when he jumped the median
strip, so they just stick to measurable stuff like alcohol. It wouldn't surprise
me to find out that tired drivers cause as much damage in our society as drunk
ones. Our society encourages people to work too much and drink too much coffee
and latté and push themselves; people boast to each other publicly about
how little sleep they have had this week and how cool they are because of it.
Maybe our toll booth operators should call the police when they detect a tired
looking driver coming through. Maybe we need "Sleep that Extra Hour and
Drive Safely" campaigns, complete with film strips to show our school children
along with the "Say No To Strangers" and Say No to Drugs" and
"Safe Sex" and all the other indoctrination. Maybe we need designated
"I'm Awake" drivers to bring the other tired partyers home, and pamphlets
outlining the truths and myths about exhaustion. What if somebody got in a terrible
accident that cost some lives and could prove that their neighbor's lawn mower
that morning deprived them of sleep and made them too tired to drive. Should
they be allowed to sue? It doesn't seem much more absurd than allowing people
to sue a bartender who served them a final drink. "Friends Don't Let Friends
Drive Tired" bumper stickers would be great.
So would "Friends Don't Let Friends Drive Mad." Think of all those
angry and heartsick drivers out there, so emotionally caught up in the dramas
of their lives that they don't see children crossing the street. Think of all
the day-dreamers and all the people driving around fantasizing. "FANTASIZING
AND DRIVING DON'T MIX" the slogans would say. Let's start MOTHERS AGAINST
DAY-DREAMING DRIVERS clubs and start lobbying our congressmen to do something
about the menace of abstracting drivers. Not to mention the horny ones. Surely
there must have been a lot of lives lost due to lonely, horny men gawking out
their windows at shapely female pedestrians and not attending to their driving.
This has to be stopped. Maybe there should be stiff fines for that, and maybe
the women should be sued for being accessories to the accident. Maybe if a guy
gets too horny and wrecks his car and kills someone, the last woman he was with
could be liable if she didn't sleep with him. Maybe we should also go after
people with low blood sugar, or people who drank too much coffee and are wired
up. I know that I am a menace when I stop at McDonald's and have a Coke in one
hand and a Big Mac in the other and am pulling onto the highway, wiping ketchup
off my face and driving with my knees. I think these other classes of drivers
merit as much law enforcement attention as drinkers. What are we waiting for?
© 1987 by Harvey Reid
This web site
concerns the music and life of acoustic musician, writer & music educator Harvey Reid.
If you don't find what you want, or if you have comments or questions, please email to
This web site
concerns the music and life of acoustic musician, writer & music educator Harvey Reid.
If you don't find what you want, or if you have comments or questions, please email to